Improving the World, One Rude Person at a Time

One of the biggest misconceptions that people have about etiquette is that it’s just knowing what fork to use.  Now don’t get me wrong…Continental dining skills is a VERY important skill to master because it’s the easiest way for people to determine your level of business savvy, status, polish and sophistication.   However, it’s a tiny part of the total package of etiquette and why it is crucial to your success in business (and in your personal life).

Side note:  If you don’t know what Continental dining is, or you’re not eating in this manner, you seriously should consider hiring a certified etiquette consultant to teach you or taking Modet’s eLearning course (http://www.modetinc.com/e-learning-info/e-learning-course).    

When people ask me what the heck is etiquette, I say “etiquette is the glue that makes relationships stick.”  In a nutshell, that’s really what it is.  Etiquette is the ‘how’ of your interactions with other people.  It’s ‘how’ you build relationships, it is the ‘how’ of:

• getting promoted or getting hired over someone else
• effortlessly making small talk
• not embarrassing yourself in front of clients or co-workers
• getting a second date with the person you’re interested in
• not unintentionally offending others
• networking effectively (most people network the WRONG way)
• confidently walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself
• making a positive impression on your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s family
• …this list could go on and on but I’m sure you get the point

Etiquette deals with the way other people perceive you.  Accept it or not but the saying “perception is reality” is true.  Let’s look at an example in our work lives.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if  we could promote ourselves and give ourselves the raise we think we deserve?  Unfortuantely that isn’t the case and it is another person who determines your career advancement.  It’s great that you consider yourself a team player, but if others perceive you as introverted or only out for yourself then the promotion goes to someone else.   Fair? NO!  True? YES! 

It’s not about changing ‘who’ you are, it’s about understanding ‘how’ you’re being perceived by others and making small adjustments if that perception is getting in the way of you accomplishing what you want in life.  Etiquette is non-verbal communication, emails, cultural awareness, small talk, introductions, coffee meetings, presentations, body language, yes…dining skills, and SO much more.   

There’s a lot to etiquette but to keep it simple on why it is so important to your success, just remember, “etiquette is the glue that makes relationships stick.”

Thank you for being a faithful reader of One Rude Person.  We’re taking a short sabbatical from blogging but promise to return soon.

Most of us think we know what to say and do when looking for a new job. But you may make a few critical mistakes if you don’t mind your manners. In tonight’s Job Shop report, Kori Chambers finds out what is proper networking etiquette by Modet Inc. Founder and President P.J. McGuire.

Tacky Sighting #3  You Know You’re Tacky When…another patron at a busy fine dining restaurant pulls your child from underneath her table and brings him to you.  Fortunately, I’m not the one who witnessed this faux pas or the one who took the little boy kicking and screaming back to his parents.  This tacky sighting was provided by one of  One Rude Person’s dedicated readers whose meal was ruined because fellow diners allowed their child to use the restaurant as his own personal playground. 

Here’s a list of the destruction this child caused while his parents sat chatting away over their meal:

• Crawled in front of a server causing her to spill a tray of hot, freshly plated food on the floor.  Luckily the child crawled away unharmed which may be why the parents didn’t pick him up and put him in a child seat 
• Tipped over a chair that he was attempting to use for a quick game of hide and seek
• Ruined the reader’s meal with her husband by crawling under their table and moving around the chairs.  This is when she picked him up and took him back to his parents (who were actually annoyed that she’d had the audacity to touch their child).

Now at this point you would think that the little boy would be placed in a child seat and not allowed to wreck anymore havoc…no such luck.  5 minutes later the boy’s father put him back on the floor to continue his reign of restaurant mayhem and foolishness.  He then:

• Annoyed more diners by crawling under their tables
• Nearly knocked over the station where dirty dishes were being bused

Avoid Being Tacky Tip #3  Consider other diners and the potential disruption to the restaurant’s ambiance when choosing whether or not to bring children to fine dining establishments.  If you choice to bring young children, make sure that they remain seated.  This is not only for their safety and the safety of others but also so that everyone can enjoy their dining experience.