Side note:  If you don’t know what Continental dining is, or you’re not eating in this manner, you seriously should consider hiring a certified etiquette consultant to teach you or taking Modet’s eLearning course (http://www.modetinc.com/e-learning-info/e-learning-course).    

When people ask me what the heck is etiquette, I say “etiquette is the glue that makes relationships stick.”  In a nutshell, that’s really what it is.  Etiquette is the ‘how’ of your interactions with other people.  It’s ‘how’ you build relationships, it is the ‘how’ of:

• getting promoted or getting hired over someone else
• effortlessly making small talk
• not embarrassing yourself in front of clients or co-workers
• getting a second date with the person you’re interested in
• not unintentionally offending others
• networking effectively (most people network the WRONG way)
• confidently walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself
• making a positive impression on your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s family
• …this list could go on and on but I’m sure you get the point

Etiquette deals with the way other people perceive you.  Accept it or not but the saying “perception is reality” is true.  Let’s look at an example in our work lives.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if  we could promote ourselves and give ourselves the raise we think we deserve?  Unfortuantely that isn’t the case and it is another person who determines your career advancement.  It’s great that you consider yourself a team player, but if others perceive you as introverted or only out for yourself then the promotion goes to someone else.   Fair? NO!  True? YES! 

It’s not about changing ‘who’ you are, it’s about understanding ‘how’ you’re being perceived by others and making small adjustments if that perception is getting in the way of you accomplishing what you want in life.  Etiquette is non-verbal communication, emails, cultural awareness, small talk, introductions, coffee meetings, presentations, body language, yes…dining skills, and SO much more.   

There’s a lot to etiquette but to keep it simple on why it is so important to your success, just remember, “etiquette is the glue that makes relationships stick.”

Ever wonder if you’re as professional, poised and polished as you think you are?  Take Modet’s Etiquette I.Q. quiz to find out.  CLICK HERE  for the quiz

“Together WE can make the world a more polite place, one courteous interaction at a time.” ~ PJ McGuire, Modet, Inc. (www.modetinc.com)

Bring a small token of appreciation for the host when attending a holiday party at someone’s home.

Cake (specifically fruitcake) is only an appropriate gift when you know the other person likes them.

Double dipping is disgusting and unsanitary. If you would like sauce or dip place it on your plate and double dip until your heart (and tummy) is content.

Electronic elves, flashing lights and dancing Santas are best kept at home. Decorations in the office should be minimal.

Follow proper protocol when giving business gifts; be aware of cultural and religious differences.

Gift cards are impersonal, try to get personalized gifts whenever possible. If you find holiday gift giving difficult, consider hiring a gift giving service. They’re inexpensive and can save you time and money.

“Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings” is the appropriate greeting during this time of year because it incorporates ALL religious and cultural holidays.

If you run out of time to send holiday cards you can send Happy New Year cards instead.

Just in case you’re traveling for the holidays, remember to have your mail held at the post office and put your lights on a timer. Don’t let the thieves know you are not at home!

Know and practice proper dining skills. If you aren’t 100% sure which side your bread plate or beverage is on, review dining skills by taking an online course or reading it in a book.

Limit your alcohol consumption at business holiday functions. Being the office drunk is not only embarrassing but can cost you your job. Yes, I know the alcohol is free but limit yourself to 2-3 drinks.

Martini glasses are prone to spills…order your martini in a low ball glass and your beverage won’t end up on your shirt (or someone else’s).

Naptime should occur at home only, not at holiday office parties or after eating at someone’s home.

Out of office messages can be festive but must be appropriate. Happy Holidays and/or Seasons Greetings is a better option than Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa or any other religious holiday greeting.

Please don’t outstay your welcome! Pay attention to social cues and know when it’s time to say your goodbyes and go home.

Quiet please…don’t blast holiday music at the office. Be considerate of others and use headphones.

RSVP for holiday parties within 72 hours after receiving the invitation and/or before the RSVP by deadline.

Small talk is an important skill when attending holiday parties and interacting with friends and family. Review current events and practice small talk so that you will be able to mingle with ease.

Time is of the essence. Always arrive on time to sit down dinners.

Use this time of year to show your gratitude and appreciation to all of the people who help to make your life a little easier. Give an extra special gift or tip to people like your hair stylist, cleaning person, doorman, day care providers, etc.

Vacationing in someone’s home for the holidays isn’t the same as vacationing in a hotel…there probably isn’t a maid service. Always clean up after yourself and offer to help out around the home.

Writing a thank you note is always a nice gesture. Send thank you notes after receiving a gift and attending a party in someone’s home.

eX’s can be a touchy situation during this time of year. Tread lightly when interacting with the friends and family of your EX during the holidays.

Yield to the second helping if you’re prone to the “lose weight and get in shape” New Year’s resolution.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz…get plenty of rest during this busy holiday season so that you can be courteous and polite to everyone with whom you encounter from department store staff to co-workers.

Kanye West interrupts Taylor Swift at VMA's

What in the world is going on with the security guards in the entertainment industry lately?  First we have Kanye West jumping on stage at the VMA Awards during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech and yesterday Sugar Shane Mosley jumps into the ring and interrupts Floyd Mayweather’s post-fight interview with HBO’s Max Kellerman.  Whether this is a case of arrogance and self-centeredness or an impulse control problem something must be done. 

Perhaps we need to bring in retired secret service agents to train the security for such events (hmmm…Sugar Shane Mosley throws a mean right hook so I can understand how he managed to get in the ring).  Or maybe mandatory psychological counseling before awards shows and sporting events would help.  The easiest and most beneficial to society as a whole would be  to require every celebrity and professional athlete to take one of my etiquette workshops or sign up for 1-on-1 coaching because this behavior is just plain ridiculous!  I understand the need for publicity stunts but this has gone too far.  Rude, blatantly disrespectful behavior is unacceptable regardless of the ratings it brings. 

To all the celebrities and professional athletes out there…as my lovely grandmother would say “act like you got some home training.”  Geez, come on people it’s called “show BUSINESS,” treat the business (and yourself) with some respect.

There’s a special “dance” we must do when maneuvering up and down sidewalks with an umbrella.  The steps to the dance are simple, anyone can learn them.  Here are the four rain dance steps:

Step One: Pay attention to what’s going on around you.

Step Two: When someone is approaching prepare to dance – either lift your umbrella up, if the person is shorter than you or lower your umbrella, if the person is taller than you.  This will prevent you from taking the person’s eye out, giving them a sloppy umbrella kiss on the face or poking a hole in each other’s umbrellas.     

Step Three: Once you arrive at your destination make sure no one is walking behind you before you stop to close your umbrella.

Step Four:  Check near the door to see if the building has plastic umbrella bags.  If they do, use it…help keep the floors throughout the building nice and dry.  

Even if you don’t have rhythm these steps will have others happily asking you, “May I have this dance?”

Tacky Sighting #3  You Know You’re Tacky When…another patron at a busy fine dining restaurant pulls your child from underneath her table and brings him to you.  Fortunately, I’m not the one who witnessed this faux pas or the one who took the little boy kicking and screaming back to his parents.  This tacky sighting was provided by one of  One Rude Person’s dedicated readers whose meal was ruined because fellow diners allowed their child to use the restaurant as his own personal playground. 

Here’s a list of the destruction this child caused while his parents sat chatting away over their meal:

• Crawled in front of a server causing her to spill a tray of hot, freshly plated food on the floor.  Luckily the child crawled away unharmed which may be why the parents didn’t pick him up and put him in a child seat 
• Tipped over a chair that he was attempting to use for a quick game of hide and seek
• Ruined the reader’s meal with her husband by crawling under their table and moving around the chairs.  This is when she picked him up and took him back to his parents (who were actually annoyed that she’d had the audacity to touch their child).

Now at this point you would think that the little boy would be placed in a child seat and not allowed to wreck anymore havoc…no such luck.  5 minutes later the boy’s father put him back on the floor to continue his reign of restaurant mayhem and foolishness.  He then:

• Annoyed more diners by crawling under their tables
• Nearly knocked over the station where dirty dishes were being bused

Avoid Being Tacky Tip #3  Consider other diners and the potential disruption to the restaurant’s ambiance when choosing whether or not to bring children to fine dining establishments.  If you choice to bring young children, make sure that they remain seated.  This is not only for their safety and the safety of others but also so that everyone can enjoy their dining experience. 

On the CTA this morning I unwillingly became part of another person’s not-so-quiet tribute to Michael Jackson.  This MJ fan was seated 6 rows behind me but I could hear every word of “Thriller” as if the song was coming from  my own headphones.  Are you kidding me?!?  Beyond my concern for the health of his ear drums I couldn’t help but to shake my head at the utter lack of consideration for the other riders.  People kept turning around and giving him the “turn down your (insert expletive) music” look but he didn’t seem to care.  “Thriller” and then “Billie Jean” continued to blare from his headphones until he got off the bus too many stops later. 

Michael Jackson was a humanitarian and believed in respecting and caring for people from all walks of life, all around the world.  As we fondly remember the King of Pop and his contribution to the music industry, please be respectful of those around you and turn down the volume of your iPod, iPhone and car stereos.

To the Jackson Family – you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Tacky Sighting #2  You Know You’re Tacky When…the job interviewer abruptly ends your interview after you hang up from your cell phone call.  Oh yes, you read that correctly.  In this economy with millions of people out of work, someone was stupid enough to answer his cell phone during a job interview.  Let me tell you the entire story.   

A seemingly intelligent man with a Master’s degree from a top 10 business school was on the second interview for a marketing position at a major company.  He comes into the interviewer’s office puts down his briefcase and lays his cell phone on the interviewer’s desk (faux pas #1).  The interview is going well when all of a sudden his cell phone starts to vibrate.  The seemingly intelligent man not only answers the phone in the middle of the job interview but also walks over to the window in order to get a better signal.  Are you kidding me?!?   As soon as he hung up, the interviewer told him he had no other questions and asked him to leave.

Avoid Being Tacky Tip #2  When going on a job interview leave your cell phone in your car!  If must have it with you, make sure you turn the phone OFF and leave it in your briefcase or purse. 

Have you seen something that tops Tacky Sighting #2?  Tell me about it, pjmcguire@modetinc.com